WIll it happen again?

I was on the stage. In front of me stood a crowd of around 3000 people. When I was walking towards the dice , I was very nervous. What if everything goes blank , I totter and fall, what if I cant make even few of them listen to me. So many things were going inside my mind . And I found noone beside me to give me courage. I was all alone to face it all. But it began , and I spoke what I had in my heart, I spoke
what I wanted to tell that crowd . I didnt see who was listening , who was ready to criticize me or whatsoever. What I just knew that I was there to express my thoughts , I didnt care be it one person or 3000.It ended, and ended with a bagful of
clappings . I was being applauded. This was the first time I spoke in front of such a huge crowd, and tears couldnt stop coming. And after that, I never feared the crowd . It seemed like I was speaking in front of mirror, where nobody except you is there to judge yourself. There was a flair to be a leader , to become someone who can change the way world system operates.

Today when I look back at those days, I find myself in a dilemma. Where has that flair gone? Has it gone by itself or am I responsible for it ? I think its always there, just that its not ignited anymore . I havent spoken in front of such a huge crowd for many many days. I crave for one moment when I get to address people and express my thoughts, to make them believe what I believe in, to confront them with the truth.But somehow I never get a chance. Life's like that :)......u never know in which direction u r being pulled in...whether you like it or not....I have started earning, have my own house, I am independent and maybe after few years , you may see
my name in some publication for being a good on job employee or a good manager blah blah.......but theres always that want to become that orator again whom people loved to listen, who made complicated things simple when he spoke, who could relate to
each and every person standing in front of him,not just one guy who is confined to the boardrooms of big firms.

Yes obviously I never wanted to become a politician, not an actor even :)......but somethings in your life are such that you love that part of yourself. I loved that part of me.I was good in it. Yes, I agree circumstances are such that , not deliberately though, those things just fly away from being a part of your life. Or you can say some other things become so very obvious that you dont have time to
even remember what you loved . But one day comes when you have time , lots of time and then you think of those days .Today is one of those days.I may ride a fine car tomorrow but will it give the touch of wind that my bike gives? Will the clean wardrobes give the feel of home as my dirty closet gives now ? Will I be giggling like a kid as I always do now ? the answer is 'I don't know, but I hope the answer is yes '